Practicing Resurrection- Stones, Doors, and Fish

(reflection of the accounts from Gospel of John 20-21)



Listen for what the Spirit is saying….

Like Mary, what stones
do I anticipate
and regard as immovable?
What stands in the way
of life
in the midst of uncertainty,
loss or grief?
Are there large and heavy
rock solid certainties
with in me that already
do not present a problem
but I chose to dwell on them-
anticipate them-
as barriers to experiencing
the fullness of life?
Do I look for the obstructions
or can I practice resurrection
moving with trust
that way will open…
every day.

Like followers huddled
in fear
behind locked doors,
cutting off ventilation and light,
what doors have I shut
for fear of what might enter?
What doors have I shut
out of fear
so no one else hears the
thoughts of my heart
or the wondering questions?
When have I believed
and acted more
in the reality of fear and death
than in the possibilities
and power of life?
When have doubts
diminished life by
squelching trust,
faith, and hope?

Like Peter and his pals,
when am I ready to
go backward instead
of forward;
back to the familiar
the comfortable,
the predictable
even if the results
may be empty?
And if the backward lure
proves bountiful
can I let it go for
what the Spirit is saying?

What do you love most?
stones? fear? boundaries?
community? uncertainty?
mystery? the past?
the Church? ministry?
friendship? success?
the backward glance?
even life itself?
“Do you love these more than me?”
Have these been the tools,
the gifts, that have led to Christ?
What is the first love that calls
for practicing resurrection?
Who or what am I looking for and seeing?
“Do you love me more than these?”

Mary and Thomas and Peter
and all, practiced resurrection,
practiced seeing and living in
the One they love most,
practiced the living presence of
God with them.

Listen for what the Spirit is still saying.

My New Pond

Nearly 3 years now,
a fissure, shift, stirrings
prodding change
watching summers come and go
migratory seasons
cleaning, speculating, refilling,
still uncertain
Occasions for learning, encouragement-
moments of dreaming, creating-
standing still, wandering, pondering-
Deciding.
Planning,
yet the pond remains intact
apart from the hairline reminder
that it no longer holds
the water for which it was made
and needs change.
Nothing to fix, only change will do.

This old pond was a first,
the only one ever shaped by hand,
by my hand.
Sentimental and slow to let go
of quick-crete.
Why such resistant for change?
Memories of shared life, of course;
all who passed and lingered,
who played and
grew up here together,
with me:
warblers, doves, tanagers, buntings,
hawks, owls,
frogs, snakes, and fish
racoons
the dogs and kids
having touched and drawn life
in this pond’s waters
making it a sacred space.

But,
its old ‘wine skins’ now.
Something is leaking, failing to hold.
It needs greater depth.

You have the plan
You have the wisdom
You have the skills
You have the materials
You have the encouragement
Now
gather the courage
take heart
make the break
stop holding back
hammer or chisel does not matter
let the separation be complete
let go of what it was
in order for the new to be.

Dig deeper for the wellspring,
tend the circulation line
add new layers,
let it bubble, pool, gurgle, retain,
attract, nurture, sustain
unconstrained by season
Function and foundation will remain.
A sacred space will not depart.
Reclaim the quick-crete
in heeding transition’s growth
and the collected precious stones,
algae covered rocks and the old stump.
Refashion an oasis for life;
augmenting depth
raising height
suiting surroundings.

Take heart and take the next step.
Break and build.
Let a new pond emerge.
It will be well.